Barbara Ryder - altruistic kidney donor
Barbara Ryder is a 59-year-old nurse from Launceston in Cornwall who works at Derriford Hospital in Plymouth. She has one son, Jefferson, who lives in Berkshire, and a grandson, Jack, who is 18 months old.
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“I know it sounds weird, but I was brought up in the sort of family where we tried to help others. We had nothing and we were quite poverty stricken. My parents and grandparents were brought up to help others. That’s how we lived.
“You do try and pay back to society as you get older. Everybody does.”
“What prompted me to donate my kidney was that I heard something on the radio about dialysis and how ghastly it was. Eventually I read they were trying to legalise matters three years ago. I rang Sarah Stacey, the living donor coordinator at Derriford Hospital, and she said it would be possible.
“The Independent Assessment process organised by the Human Tissue Authority was very useful in explaining the risks of donation. I thought about the risks, or if a member of my family might want a kidney in future, but there is nothing wrong with any of them. I thought about it, and balanced it out in my mind.
“My mother died very young. I was always aware of illness and suffering and she had problems with her kidney, and a blood disease which affected her kidneys. When you nurse, you see things happen to people and wish you could cure it all.
“The kidney was literally a spare part which you can do without. I thought: ‘Good. At last I can do something physically useful.’
“I was analysed and asked over and over again how I felt about the process. There were various tests to go through, and blood tests. The actual procedure was painful immediately afterwards, but the worst thing was I felt very tired. The tension was building and the emotion was building up, too. I just wanted it to be over and done with.
“They wondered whether I could cope. I am on my own, and if I could cope, someone else could. If you had a partner and supportive family around you it would be a lot easier. I knew I would have a brilliant anaesthetist and a surgeon.
“On September 18 2007 I went into the operating theatre at 9am. I wanted to get home. I went in on Tuesday and came home on the Friday. I wanted to get home because I have rescued cats and dogs to look after.
“I was up and about straight away and went straight to the supermarket but it takes around ten days for the wounds to start to knit together. I was walking with the dogs after a week.
“What you get from giving the kidney is probably more than the recipient. The feeling you is better than the feeling you get at Christmas. It’s just the joy of giving. You get a lot more fun and happiness out of giving something to someone. It’s something that can change their lives.
“I had a lovely letter from Andy Loudon and his wife and it made all the difference in the world. They wrote about how they are now able to visit their family in Scotland and they couldn’t before because of the dialysis. They said they would never forget me. It did make a lot of difference.”
Barbara's son Jefferson Ryder
“I don’t think I was 100 per cent convinced at first, but then I realised she was doing it because it was the right thing. Her father was a similar sort of person, so she was doing what he would have done. She hasn’t had the best life, but she has a new grandson, Jack, who is eighteen months old, and he brings a lot into her life. She wanted to give something back. She fully appreciates that other people need to know about this process.
“It was a relief after surgery, and it’s worth noting she went back to nursing quite quickly. That’s the sort of person she is.”
Read Andy Loudon's story (the recipient who received Barbara's kidney)